If A 'Teabagger' Uses the ' N Word' on Capitol Hill and Nobody Records It, Does It Make A Sound?

    Ah, one of the great unanswered questions of the universe... I am, of course, referring to an incident that took place in Washington, D.C. in March during the contentious health care debates. Representatives John Lewis, André Carson and Emanuel Cleaver (all African American) claim that as they walked from one building to another, passionately protesting 'teabaggers' yelled at them, and rather than keeping the rhetoric to the subject at hand, the protesters hurled 'the N word' at them.

    One of the gentlemen claims he was also spat upon and interestingly enough, video captured from the protest shows a policeman handcuffing an aggressive protester. Footage is being studied to determine if it shows the man actually spitting. Meanwhile, Andrew Brietbart (the web entrepreneur who released the video of ACORN workers counseling actors posing as a pimp and prostitute) claims that the protest was peaceful and that there was absolutely no spitting and nary an 'N word' was uttered by any of the people carrying signs depicting President Obama as Adolph Hitler, a primate or in black face. To up the ante, Brietbart has pledged $100,000 to the United Negro College Fund if anyone provides proof of the epithets, adding, "It didn't happen," despite the fact that he was not there personally. He even continued to say,"This is 2010. Even a racist is media-savvy enough not to yell the N-word."

    Did you catch that? Yes, Brietbart is "offering" $100,000 for any proof that the epithets were actually spewed, but in practically the same breath, he basically told his teabagger compadres to destroy or hide any audio or video evidence that might be in their possession, lest he have to give the UNCF money and help any more 'N words' get an education. After all, isn't the UNCF in some way responsible for the ivy league education that produced President Barack Obama, the bain of the conservative racist movement's existence?

   The other thing that I find appalling about this entire thing is the fact that the word of three black Congressmen—one of whom is a Civil Rights legend—is being questioned. It's not as if they are accusing the teabaggers of arriving in spaceships and commencing to anal probe all black people. It is not an outlandish claim nor is it difficult to believe that a mob of angry, bitter people who blame all of the ills of American society on the lone black man who had the audacity to run for and be elected president, would in a heated moment amid the mob mentality yell "Nigger!" at a black politician, is it?

   It saddens me that we are urged not to believe that this incident happened, yet time after time, a crime is committed and a white face claims "a black man did it" and that claim is believed and all too often avenged before a few hours or days go by and it is proven that it is not the case. For more information on the "a black man did it" phenomenon, Google "Susan Smith," "Ashley Todd" and "Bonnie Sweeten" and then see if you feel a little saddened, angered or otherwise regarding this debacle.

   It has been said that the greatest trick The Devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he does not exist. Okay angry, teabagger, white racist devil— try as you might to pull a Jedi mind trick and convince us of the same, but we know that you do exist and that the N word can and does roll off of your tongue with ease. Here's hoping that just one person who was among you that day in March has a heart and a conscience and comes forward with that video or audio evidence and that when it happens, Brietbart will keep his word.

Jail-Themed Playground in NYC Public Housing & It's Potential Effect on Children

From the files of "we cannot make this stuff up" comes the story about a playground in the Tompkins Houses housing project in Bedford-Stuyvesant (BedStuy) Brooklyn. A picture is truly worth a thousand words, so I give you the photo in all of it's unadulterated shame...

While some will say that it is just an homage to kids playing "Cops & Robbers" as they have done for decades, I wholeheartedly disagree. Number one, kids don't really play that game on playgrounds anymore, and most black parents teach their pre-school aged boys not even make a gun out of their fingers for fear that some over-zealous officer will shoot first and ask questions later citing, "He had a weapon! It looked like a weapon and I was in fear for my life" and beat both the criminal and civil cases.

I live in a suburban area (code for mostly white) and the playgrounds in my neighborhood have jungle gyms (as we used to call them) fashioned after castles, airplanes, cars and even a stagecoach. Naturally, these structures are designed to nurture a child's imagination while they climb, swing and jump or simply turn the steering wheel, spin the propeller, etc. So, it would seem that while little Molly and Jake are inspired to imagine being a princess or a pilot, little Imani and DeShawn are encouraged to imagine being in jail.

It got me thinking about how other toys and games might have a similarly insidious effect on black and hispanic children, so I pondered some of the toys and games from my youth in the 1970s:

The Easy Bake Oven would now be the "Easy Crack Oven." Complete with measuring spoons for just-the-right-cut of baking soda, syringes and even the handy-handle to eliminate those pesky burns on the kids' hands that too often spark annoying visits from CPS/DYFS and cause entire batches to be flushed down toilets or swallowed to avoid mandatory jail time.

Hot Wheels cars will still be known as Hot Wheels, but now come with one tire that is slightly less inflated than the others so it warrants being pulled over repeatedly. Also included is a choice of a bag of incriminating evidence such as drug paraphernalia or a "slim jim" and various warrants for minority children who play with the cars.

CHiPs Action Figures still feature "Ponch" and "Jon," but their uniforms will be updated to include Tasers as well as more durable "billy clubs" for use during prolonged beatdowns of minority men who have been pulled over with the aforementioned Hot Wheels. Collectible packages will also include flashlights and plungers to be used at the officers' discretion to sodomize any innocent-until-proven-guilty suspects they might harass, torment or arrest. 

Slinky toys will continue to walk down stairs alone or in pairs and make a slinkity sound in white neighborhoods. They will, however, be used in lieu of "flexi-cuffs" for use in subduing minority suspects. They can be used to secure hands and feet and also are useful in implementing illegal chokeholds. They are currently being tested for use in sodomizing suspects as well.

Interconnecting LEGO blocks, designed to foster imagination and creativity in future architects and engineers, will be used in the ghetto to inspire young black children to adopt threatening facial expressions and attach guns to their hands. It seems that the only black LEGO character to be found was this one (I never really thought about it as a child, but ALL of our LEGO sets came with yellow people with detachable hair that emulated a "bowl cut" for men and a flip, bob or ponytail for women). Law enforcement officers will study the LEGO figure and carry a copy of a photo of it at all times so that black men will always "fit the description" of one suspect or another.

Finally, the Game of Life will add brown pegs and the game will include technology that allows any cars carrying the brown pegs to bypass college and marriage and head directly to the welfare or unemployment office. After a few lost turns there, brown pieces will proceed to jail where the Game of Life will either end in physical death or the death of their spirit and hope. Any brown pegs released from jail will be doomed to continue playing with Hot Wheels, CHiPS dolls and Slinkys and repeat the incarceration portion of Life as there is plenty of funding for incarceration, but very little for education and rehabilitation.

*Note: Life will also detect when two pink or two blue pegs occupy the same car and detour them away from church and marriage, while allowing them access to education.