Thursday, January 14, 2010

The Devil Made Pat Do It

By now you’ve seen the video clip, read the text or heard about Pat Robertson’s comments about the devastating earthquake in Haiti and his take on why it happened.

No, “Uncle Pat” is not a seismologist to my knowledge, but he has a theory and was happy to share it with the world. For those who are unaware, here is the text and the video:

And you know, Kristi, something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it. They were under the heel of the French. You know, Napoleon the third, or whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to The Devil. They said, we will serve you if you will get us free from the French. True story. And so, the devil said, okay it's a deal. And they kicked the French out. You know, the Haitians revolted and got themselves free. But ever since they have been cursed by one thing after the other.

Mmkay, so all that I really have to say here is that “Uncle Pat” is ca-ra-zy! Well, that’s not nice, and my mother did teach me better than that so suffice to say that Mr. Robertson is citing a supposed 1791 conversation between a group of Haitians, a voodoo priest and The Devil. Robertson goes so far as to say, “True story” to reassure us that he knows whereof he speaks.

After a bit of consternation and pondering the likelihood of this having taken place, I decided to use logic and deductive reasoning to determine Robertson’s sincerity and the accuracy of his words:

  • The supposed pact took place in 1791
  • In order to prove this story true, there would have to have been a witness or witnesses
  • Pat Robertson seems to be in the know about exactly what was said and what transpired
  • Hence, Pat Robertson is either a 219-year-old Haitian, a voodoo priest or The Devil.

I’m putting my money on him being The Devil.

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